A running commentary on things that I don't like.

Also, you know, about why I'm a lot cooler than you.

Seriously. Much cooler. And smarter.

Which is why you should read my site.

That way when I tell you that Napoleon Dynamite was stupid crap, you won't make a fool of yourself by continuing to tell people to watch it.

God, it Sucks
the place to go for all things that suck


.:[Thursday, November 17, 2005]:.
Silvia Johnson - Cool Mom Revisited

You know, I wasn't going to say anything else about Silvia Johnson. I mean, the very thought of 14 year olds pounding away at her skaggy ass, while she bought them booze and crank was just a little to pathetic and obvious, and she got 30 years in prison, of which she'll have to serve at least 10 before she's eligible for parole.
And while that may seem a bit excessive, it's worth noting that her sentencing had to be delayed because "she was hospitalized in a car crash Sept. 25 that occurred while a 14-year-old girl was driving her car. Two of Johnson's children were in the car, along with the 14-year-old driver and a 12-year-old boy."

What a winner.

But, I found a bigger winner. Her name is Tracy, and I'd like to suck on her (I'm sure) young, melon-like breasts, and read her passages from Gertrude Stein, while we feed each other grapes and discuss defeating the glass ceiling. But she's probably on the way to an interpretive drum circle and then it's off to feminist dance theory class. Probably. You see, I'm not sure. I'm going off this post in my comments, here.

Allow me to respond to Tracy by asking her if, were I allow her to suck my penis, she would thank me later?


Tracy: "Your comments were just as pathetic as the crime commited. I bet you are not much more attractive that the nasty words used to describe this woman."

Benjamin: You're right. My comments are just as pathetic as giving your own child methamphetamine, and giving other people's children methamphetamine and alcohol and then having sex with them.
My ability to stand up to your rhetorical onslaught has been withered by the surgical precision of your logic. Bravo. As for how attractive I am... well, I am 5'3" inches of sexy, baby, and I'm lookin' in your direction. I'll lay you down in my bed, and I'll whisper all those things you want to hear -- that Victoria's Secret gives women poor body images, that your lack of success is due to insititutional hostility to women, that women can do everything that men can do... and then I'll ejaculate in your mouth, ask you to make me a sandwich, and then go to sleep.

Tracy: "Yes, the crimes deserve punishment. HOWEVER 30 years in prison is freakin ridiculous. The average prison term for some misoginyst for rape is only 9.6 years!!! usually only serveing 4."

Benjamin: Hmm... maybe the crime doesn't deserve punishment. If I were the father of any of these boys, I'd just bring it up every chance I got. "Hey, son, how grey were her pubes?" "Son, quit looking at your grandmother like that." "Good God, son, I hope you at least put a bag over her head."

Tracy: "However the language you use...ie the boys "bagging" her etc. makes me wonder if this is exactly the type of mentality that enables the sex slave trade, and a billion underage girl exploitation situations and drug giving that occurs every bloody day in the USA! and all over the world,(and of course goes unnoticed, as the very judges involved in this case probably go to "bag" a little girl.)"

Benjamin: Is this really any different from male exploitation at the hands of women? Dinner and a movie, and you still won't put out? Jesus, I super-sized your value meal, you stupid whore, now give me a handjob before you end up with the rest of the dead hookers under my bed. And deflowering teen virgins is a standard part of the judicial compensation package in Texas. I don't see how it could be any other way.

Tracy: "This is a usual case of hipocracy...with the usual CNN crap publicity. Do the prisons really need more filling with such "dangerous" criminals? ARe our streets more safe now? Or has the public been taught another lesson that men with girls (bad) woment with boys (UNFORGIVABLE)."

Benjamin: Well, a few teenage boys are a little safer in that they may not have, as their formative sexual experience, straining away on top of this gargoyle and kneading away at her saggy flanks. Her daughter is a little safer in that her dumbfuck mom isn't humping her friends.
And we're all a little safer because we don't have to get the eye-gouging that is her picture on the news anymore. But that's not the point, is it, Tracy? The point is that no man has been able to treat you like you should be treated, have they? Well, come over to my house tomorrow. I'll give you all the patriarchy you could ever need. Do you like dirty facial porn?

Give me more of that hot chick in Florida. Now, that's what every teenager needs. Not only will she put out, but she's hot and she'll put out while your friend drives you around in her car.

| a BEN production by me at 8:40 PM